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in a blink of an eye...





The simplest truths are usually the hardest to accept and make them one's own. 
To me the life of a Believer was not easy to embrace.  I did not come to know Jesus Christ and accept HIM fully in my life, until I came to the end of my life as I knew it. 

In the blink of eye, the possessions that were my identity, my joy, my way of communicating with others, were taken away in a cold day in November....by the pounding of the auction's hammer.
We had to.  There was no other way but give it all up to be able to pay for past debts, that due to illness, caused us to lose it all. 

My journey began that day.  A journey that I have now, 10 years later, come to fully embrace, and yes, I give thanks to My God for blessing me with it. Many lessons were learned through the letting go of possessions, but the ones that have stayed with me were the ones that went deeper...the ones that cut through the chaos and the believes that were firmly placed in my life and my heart. 

A simpler life began that day in November. 
An outlook that has stayed with me through every single one of my days.  
Oh, my life has not gotten better.  If you compare it with the world's view, it got worse!
 Illness took a hold of my life and my husband's.  Our finances dwindled. 
My son's rebellion knew no end.  
The fear of the unknown was living inside each of us as we took one step and then another.

But life went on.  
Each day pulled me more and more into a depression that was hard to shake.  
I went through the motions of letting go of my possessions, thinking that this would certainly bring me some resemblance of peace and bring back harmony within each one of us.  

Did it? 

No.  
The cottage was cleaner, but I had not changed one bit. 
 I still clung to my old ways per say.  
Oh, I went to church and said all the right words.... but the lure of other's opinions was what kept me from my true source of peace and contentment...
it kept me from living a truly simple life...

I shared previously if My God had answered me...and yes, He had.  The answer He gave me...

surrender to ME! 

What???

I though I was surrendered to Christ.  I mean, isn't that what I did when I let go of all the possessions that were used to pay debts? isn't that what I did when I followed my husband to this little town and left behind my corporate life? isn't that what I did when I blindly stepped into living on one income and went through the motions of staying home and homeschooling the children? 

Isn't that what surrender means?

No...it isn't! because my heart, my soul did not surrender. 
Everything that I was, everything I thought, every action I took, every book I read, every movie I watched, every meal I ate, everything I did was not surrendered to HIM! 

I lived a double life.  I was a Believer only when it suited me and the rest of the time, I followed the world of social media, as if what I saw and read, held more wisdom that the Word of My God!

This is not simplicity!  
This is not the kind of life I wanted.  

My God showed me the way back...I did not go willingly.  I still wanted the simple life based on letting go of possessions only, but not the rest of me. 

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And now...how am I living? 

Today, my life is simple because I have learned to surrender completely!!!

I no longer worry about where our food is coming from.  I don't worry about trying to put away for a rainy day.  I have given it all to HIM!  

and what exactly does that look like?

...to be continued...






7 comments:

  1. This is profoundly beautiful, Mari. I, too, was once at rock bottom. We had lost our home, had 3 little ones and one on the way, and sold all our possessions to live in a trailer on raw land, which we bought with the last of our savings. It took many years and struggles, to get to where we are now, but I wouldn't change a thing. We just had to trust in the Lord to guide us on our way. It certainly made me less judgmental and compassionate towards others who struggle through life, and maybe that was the gift. Bless you as you continue on this journey, my dear. xo Karen

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  2. My dear friend, what precious words you have "penned" here...to remind us, as you shared through your own experience, of what total surrender to HIM truly is. Love you for it. xx

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  3. Mari...such a touching and poignant post. You have come through the fire and shown us what refinement is.

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  4. To trust in the Lord and have such faith is to be truly admired. Sadly I struggle at times and have to remind myself that I am worthy. Your post certainly gives me hope...

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  5. Mari, this is such a wonderful post. We all must remember "total surrender" to God has nothing to do with possessions, but everything to do with our heart, mind, and soul!

    Grace & Peace,
    Pam

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  6. This lovely post has given me a lot to think about. Blessings to you from England.

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  7. I've been on the journey with you Mari... not the same one of course, but the journey of learning that true submission to the Lord involves a knowledge that this world is just a temporary place, a place to refine and teach us, and that our heavenly home is the place we will truly feel at home in. It is a knowledge that His ways are perfect, and that pain and suffering will be our close companions as we live here. I look at the life of Jesus and those who followed Him, and I see the suffering they endured for the gospel, and I know that I am no better than they. My hope and trust is in HIM and His perfect plan for my life, which involves pathways I would not choose, pain I do not want, and yet, in the midst of it all, there is a sweet peace that passes understanding that comes when you accept His plan, and willingly walk with Him, yes... in true submission there is great peace! That is where the peace comes that passes understanding! Peace in the storm, peace when you don't see it, but because of your trust in Him, all is well.

    Your journey is an amazing one Mari, and I pray the Lord continues His great work in your life!

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